VIRIDESCENT- Sometimes Green isn’t very Flattering
Envy is always out of style.
Viridescent is a late Latin word for:
“Green, slightly green.”
I love the color green don’t you? (So does Katniss from ‘The Hunger Games’. But not Peeta… He likes orange. Not like Effie’s hair but like the sunset.) I am from Oregon so I am familiar with maybe every shade of green imaginable. Well maybe not neon green… That is not a color I run into often while enjoying the wilderness. However, the kind of green I want to write about for a second is envy. Jealousy that has the ability to destroy or corrupt.
My brother is a champ and a genius. I am about two years and eight months older than him. How about not being very specific huh? He spoke so clearly that people outside the family could understand him at age two, while I was still sputtering and bubbling at age four. He came out of the first grade reading like a sixth grader, while I struggled at the kidney table with ‘Sam the Worm’.
Let me give you an example. Mom and dad said that we couldn’t get a game cube until both of us could read on our own. I was in the third grade so I was like nine years old and my brother was six in the first grade. Well you can imagine what I was thinking “Oh we are so screwed because this reading thing sucks and is so hard and this going to take forever because my brother is still in the first grade.” But praise the Lord because he was reading like a champ coming out of the first grade at my level! So I think you can make a pretty safe guess as to what we got for Christmas that year.
Having a younger brother who was gifted in areas where I struggled big time made me so green it hurt. I was constantly put out that I was struggling to read ‘Toad and Frog’ by Arnold Lobel and here he was sitting next to me reading ‘The Hobbit’ by J. R. R. Tolkien. (I know, isn’t my brother just fabulous!)
The school wanted to place me in a special reading class and on the flip side they wanted to place my brother in the Tag Program for above average intelligent children (there was a point in my brother’s life he was dreaming of Harvard or MIT). My parents didn’t sign him up for that either because they already knew how the idea of him being smarter than me made me angry and hurt. (Don’t worry about that now because it is established that I am a ding dong and he is a goof bunny. We are best friends).
Jealously is poison my friends, and has a major downer effect. Now, jealously isn’t exactly a mental illness or disorder but it was something that I wanted to write about because it added to my insecurities. And can I get a round of applause as I introduce to you… COMPARISON! Again… (This is where you start throwing tomatoes or rotten lettuce at the stage).
Anything that brings you down explodes out of control when you have a mental illness or disorder. It requires more help than just trying to snap out of it and simply be happy. That out flat doesn’t work to say and makes the person struggling with mental illness feel worse. Well, I can’t speak for everyone but that would hurt me when people said things like that to me. It becomes ten times worse and can set off days, weeks or even months of fighting to return to that sweet spot of peace again.
With depression, I know of the labor and the feat it is to climb the mountain to get over something but then you have to ask yourself, “Am I really over it?” But from my personal view, it didn’t really matter how hard I worked to be “okay with it” just one wrong move would through me over the edge again. This isn’t healthy for anybody whether you are suffering from mental illness or not. It’s just flat out depressing and all sorts of shades of grey, we are not about that life. (Let’s make it 49 or 51 shads because we are not talking about the book here people.)
Again, I cannot express how important it is to accept each other’s differences and instead of pulling ourselves down by comparing, revel in how incredible the other person is. Then if you need help in the area they are good in, ask for their help. I can 99.99% guarantee that it will make their day because you never know what they’re comparing themselves to.
There is now a YouTube channel for Mental Health Naps- Click 7. VIRIDESCENT- Sometimes Green isn’t very Flattering… to watch!